just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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