So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
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He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
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Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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