Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
