Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
