You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
