Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
