all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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