I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
