Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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