i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
