Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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