As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
