U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
