So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
