The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
