a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
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tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
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A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
third nipple confirmed
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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