Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
