how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
