We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
