Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
