This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
