respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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