He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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