Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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