A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
