he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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