I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."