So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation