Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.

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(613): View more from Ontario

Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(270): View more from Kentucky

no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake

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(602): View more from Arizona

Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it

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(515): View more from Iowa

she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex

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(585): View more from New York

He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.

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(425): View more from Washington

I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again

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