Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
