He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
