he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
