Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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