put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
