I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Even my vagina gasped.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
