I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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