Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
