So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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