and she was petting her beer can
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
