Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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