Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
