Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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