You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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