New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
