i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize