Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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