also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You did what with his pubic hair?
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