toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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