Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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