and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
