exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
