My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
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They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
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Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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