I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
