No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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