so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
not ubering you a puppy
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
