There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
