Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
