My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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