What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
