i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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