I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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