I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
what day is it and did you see me today?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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