You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize