$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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