Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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